Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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