You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
