okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
