The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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