Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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