if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
