just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
