I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
