Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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