It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
