Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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