My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
