When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
