The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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