And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
