I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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