i would punch a child for taco bell
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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