So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
