A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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