Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
