She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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