insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
