i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
