She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
