i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
