This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
