plz talk dirty to me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
