I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
