his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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