some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
