It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
