Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I love how my cats smell like pot.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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