Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
where are my eyebrows?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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