I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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