halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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