yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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