Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
