Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
