You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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