i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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