The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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