I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
