Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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