Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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