you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize