i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have fence marks all over my body
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
