No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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