Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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