nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
