Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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