She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
