i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
