so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
