I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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