the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
