We got so high we made milksteak
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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