Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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