his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
